72 days...

Rarrrrr! Only 72 days left! Over the last few days it's dawned on me how little time I have left.

I have no idea what I'm going to call him. I don't even really have a narrowed down list anymore. I have the perfect girls name and I kind of want him to be a girl so I could use it. I need to find the perfect boy's name, but I only have like 11 weeks left to ponder!

So much stuff I need to buy. I want everything to be perfect. I keep putting off buying things (apart from like clothes and stuff) because even if I like something a lot, I know that if I buy it I'll probably find a better one in a few weeks. Unless things are perfect, I can't bring myself to buy them. I have a perfect moses basket though. I know I'll never be able to find one that I like even half as much. I need to remember how little time I have left and start buying all the big things!

I've started thinking/worrying about the actual birth (yeah, I'm only 29 weeks pregnant, but the last 10 weeks have gone freakishly quickly and I need to be prepared and whatnot). It's scary stuff. I don't understand how something that big can come out of something so small without breaking it or whatever. The thought of tearing and episiotomies freaks me out a bit... Especially as I know my mum had to have an episiotomy when she had me and that she tore pretty fucking badly with my half brother! C-sections... The thought of having one of those didn't sound too bad until my grandmother told me about how horrible they are. Although, I'm not sure she's a reliable source of information when it comes to pregnancy-related stuff because the last time she gave birth was in 1971... Things have probably changed a lot since then and her memory of it all is probably a bit fuzzy... At least I know that if I ask my mum about something, her knowledge is probably quite up to date as she last gave birth in 2007.

People keep telling me that I should have the baby given straight to me when he's born because I'll bond with it and stuff... I remember how gross my half brother was just after he was born and to be honest, I would rather not have to hold a baby covered in loads of... blood, shit and general fanny gunk. I think I'll definitely have him cleaned before I hold him. It's likely that I will bond with the squigglytiddlypeep anyway. I know for a fact that I'd enjoy bonding with a clean baby rather than one who is covered in ickyness. People seem to think it's wrong to want a clean baby and I kind of feel like a couple of people are pressuring me into not having him cleaned straight away. It pisses me off. It's my choice. Maybe I'll change my mind about this before October, but I probably wont. Besides, I think I've already kinda bonded with him even though he isn't born yet.

I'm going to do things how I want to do things, not how anyone else wants me to do things. >.<
But yeah, lots to think about and decide and stuff! Sorry about going into a big rant-type-thing... This post was only supposed to be about names and shopping! XD